ever feel like you miss someone even though you appear as close as ever to everyone else, and you talk to them, and you hug them every. single. day?

that's me right now basically. i feel like i don't even know my best friend.

omfg, long time no post!!

tons of shit's happened.

the end.

i don't know what to do with my life now that the world cup is over.

oh yeah that's right, band starts on monday.

work blog!

so. i'm extremely bored. and there's a computer in front of me all day at work, so i decided "hey, maybe it'll let me on my blog!" and it did. so, here i am, writing a blog.

it's been a damn long day. i've been working since 9 this morning and now it's 4 in the afternoon. i hate covering for people. i doubt i'm ever going to do it again. i like fridays to myself. XD

for my readers who don't know (all zero of you), i work in a psychologist's clinic. so i get paid to sit around, take calls, and make appointments. it's a nice environment, but it's not very busy today so i'm really, really bored.

saaaaave me!!!!!!

who knew that this happiness would last for all of about 5 days. i was the happiest i've ever been and now it's all gone...

but, it's definitely for the best. i gotta remember who i am, where i come from, and stay strong. thank you to all of my friends who helped me get through this mess. it's only you i need. :D

best friday ever? i think so. :D

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.

but now it seems as though they're here to stay.

ohh, i believe in yesterday.

last day of school/graduation!

i'm officially a high school junior! :D :D :D

the last day of school didn't feel like the last day of school. i feel like there are some loose ends that still need to be tied. but on the bright side, it's summer now, i have a job, and my best friend and i have some major plans!

this year has been by far, the best of my life! i became friends with so many new people, some of which are leaving me for college. but that's okay because they're leaving for bigger and better things...something i only want for them.

graduation was so intense. the evening didn't start off well, but someone i love very much made it a lot better so i could actually have a good time at the ceremony. then, i played some music with the band and waited for row 10 of the graduates to line up. as soon as i heard "cynthia nichole halbert," i started bawling. :[ she's one of the greatest friends i've ever had. i made a memory book for her as a surprise graduation gift. :D she loved it.

anyway, to the new seniors, it's going to be even more hard for me to let you go! let's make this year even better than last year.

my birthday?!

ooh, how i'd love to eat cake with these fine gentlemen! anyway, wednesday was my birthday!! :D :D

i got some freaking great presents, lots of hugs, and tons of "happy birthdays." i also got a ton of pokes because i'm very ticklish on my sides and my friend casey thought it would be funny to make an event on facebook called "national poke uzma shah day."

i got a beautiful necklace, a hoodie, tons of bath and body works stuff, flower clips, a new shirt, cupcakes, cards, notes, letters, and i have yet to pick something from my dad! :D

i have the greatest friends and family on the planet, end of story.

i did a very bad kid thing. and it makes me feel awful...but my best friend helped me through it. and now i know i could have done much worse.

"i don't want to be that person."

"i'm not going to be that person."

<3

good week.

well ive just been having a splendid week.

my sister came home from college.

i had an amazing tuesday night.

i got a job!

i did something out of character.

one of my best friends told me he loves me everyday this week.

i broke my braces by dropping my camera on my face.

ive over-analyzed things.

ive been having that nervous-adrenaline-feeling in my hands all week.

i spent saturday with my friend and we had the best time!

i tried on expensive dresses and didn't buy them.

i explained some "adult" stuff to my friend.

i had a picnic.

i took lots of pictures!

Your Book of Secrets.

I've been in such a big writing mood lately, poetry (which I'm not good at writing) and short stories. There's a lot happening in my life right now, so it's perfect.

So, I wrote some more poems and I know only a few people read my blogs, so what the heck. might as well put them somewhere besides my notebook. I guess you can say I was inspired...inspired by my friend. It's called "Your Book of Secrets."

Now is the time life's putting you to the test.
You're sure to get through this, though you aren't at your best.
I'll be your book of secrets, I'll stand by you,
I want to be the one that helps you get through.

Yeah, it's another short one, but hey, I'm no good at poetry...but this one came easily to me.

well now, it's been a while since i've updated this...tbqh, i forgot about it. D:

right now i'm talking to my best friend on the phone, got into a fight with another one my friends and honestly it was the best thing for us. we made up, and it's much better now. :3 also, i feel like a very dependable person, because i'm the the person my friend trusts right now...and i love it. i've been brutally honest with people lately and it's gone good and bad for me, but it's "better to say too much than never say what you need to say", right?

OH MY GOD. I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO WRITE ABOUT INDIAN IDOL!!!

It was so amazing. Indian Idol is my school's talent show, our mascot is the indian, so we had a big talent show the other night called "Indian Idol." It was so amazing. We have so much talent in our school, so many great acts. I barely had a voice the next day from all of the screaming that I was doing. A bunch of my friends were acts...FLEFT, The Go-T's, The Living Dead, basically all of the bands were people i knew. My friend Alex and I were annoying all of the people around us trying to scream for our friends, it was so fun.

Last night, I was supposed to go to Alex's house and play Apples-to-Apples with my buds, but my parents wouldn't let me. So, that was kind of a bummer. But instead, I watched the Figure Skating tryouts for the Olympic team. Sasha Cohen wasn't as good as I would have hoped she would be. But Mirai Nagasu, Rachel Flatt, Christina Gao, and Ashley Wagner were fantastic. It's so hard to believe that there are people who try out for the Olympics that are only my age...it's amazing how they can achieve their dreams so early in life.

I feel spectacular. Things are actually going right for me, which is kinda a first. I feel like Im needed. Like people need me to help them. And I always think if youre not doing something productive, youre not doing anything at all. Also, my piano relearning is going extremely well. Its all coming back to me now, and Im so excited. I love music. Music is my everything.

I know I didnt write much, but thats because not much has happened today...other than my feeling spectacular, which Ill definitely get into more detail about as time passes.

So. Today was fairly boring. I didn't really go anywhere because I was busy relearning piano. I had learned it over the summer, but I forgot everything i knew about it since I haven't played since then. So, over the weekend I have been working tirelessly to try and regain my piano skillage. My wrists really hurt from it. But I really want to regain that ability. Today, I also talked to my friend who I haven't talked to in a while, it made me extremely happy to talk to her. And that's about all that's happened, so until next time...

I'm no poet at all, actually I'm quite terrible at poetry. But I wrote a poem none the less. I guess you can say I was inspired. One of my best friends told me he was tired of life, and he loves poetry, so I thought I'd give it a go for him. To show him that he really means a lot to me, and other people as well. So, enjoy...hopefully.

As I sit alone, I can't help but think,
How far you've come, yet so close to the brink.
The brink as you know, can be pushed away,
Just try to get through the toughest of days.
Life's juicy and you haven't had your full bite.
So get back up and continue to fight.
I hope it's plain to see,
How much you mean to me.


Yeah, I know it's not much, but like I said, I'm not a good poet like he is. And since he likes it so much, I wanted to try for him. :D

So today was ah may zing. I went over to Dionella's house with Ayah and Sabah. We watched Yes Man and harassed the Domino's manager. She/he (I couldn't exactly tell which) was incredibly rude. They hung up on us multiple times because they "are busy". Seriously? I got crap to do too. And I'd rather not waste my time arguing with some person I don't even know about pizza.
Then when they delivery boy (who I was unable to see, since I was recording) came to the house and we asked if we were allowed to keep the boxes. He was just like "pfft" and walked off. Apparently the look on his face was priceless.

Also, today was awesome because I actually remembered my dream when I woke up. This is a rare phenomenon for me. So, in the dream I snuck out of the house and was picked up by my friend. He took me to his house, and for some reason we went to the school after that...I don't exactly remember why. But then we broke into the school, and these weird robot police things took us away. Bizarre, I know.

And the awesome of today will continue as I read my book, An Abundance of Katherines by John Green. He's my favorite writer and I lent his books to Ayah. And I will also watch this awesome show my sister got me into called Misfits. Also, I think I'll get on omegle.com, which is just pure awesome. I'll post some interesting conversations on here later. Ta ta for now. : ]

An introduction?

So. Where to begin? My name's Uzma. I'm 15, and I'm fairly certain that I'm pretty cool. Here are a few things you should probably know about me:

I love David Tennant and Doctor Who.

Dr. Pepper is liquid crack.

I like to shop.

I like when the vending machine accidentally gives you two candy bars.

I love chinese food.

I like to bake.

Music is my first language.

I like acting.

I don't have a favorite movie, band, song, etc. there's too much good stuff out there.

I want to see the world before I die.

I used to believe aliens weren't real, doctor who changed my opinion on that.

Family and friends are my two highest priorities. Without them, I'd be nothing.

Loyalty is the most important trait in a friend for me.


I find it extremely hard to define myself in small places such as this...especially when I don't know who I fully am yet. And why would anyone want to define themselves? That's taking away all the fun of actually getting to know me. :D